I was wandering around last week, visiting a new library, getting cat food, etc., and realized I was on 29th St. I thought, "Hey! Isn't that wood store I wanted to visit around here somewhere?" And it was--down by original Andicott.
It's not what I expected. Less wood bits and more furniture, some of it really gorgeous. And away up in the very back "samples" room, I found it. A tiny little foldable set of a table and two chairs. Exactly what I've been looking for to put on my balcony since I moved into my apartment. Very thin white planks with white wrought iron. It would be super easy to transport because even the table folds up flat. It's perfect. And it was mega on sale for only $40.
I cast my mind back to all my little wistings about having tea on the balcony, and writing at the table and putting some potted flowers on it and...then I realized. Even $40? I can't afford. Well, I could if I didn't want to pay my bills, but I kind of do. $40!!! For the perfect table set! Trust me, I've looked everywhere for this, and the closest thing I could find before this was nowhere near as cheap.
Then on Monday, I came to another realization. The whole volunteering at the riding center in Rockford? There's no way I can do that. I simply can't afford the gas. I find the idea of not be able to afford to volunteer ironic.
A year ago--heck, three months ago--I would have been in the throes of despair about both these things. Not because of the things themselves, but as symbols indicative of how my life is a morass of thwarted hopes and unfulfilled dreams. But this time, I'm inclined to snort, roll my eyes, and chuckle ruefully at the ridiculousness.
Yes, the table set is perfect and cheap and I'll never find it again. Yes, I want to be around horses and help others at the same time. Yes, someday I'd like to be able to not have to live under a cloud of money-worry.
Eh. *shrug* Whaddya gonna do?
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Meanwhile I've just about had enough of Lucky magazine because everything in it cost a fortune and I'm SICK TO DEATH of not being able to afford anything. Actually that's true of most magazines these days. I'm letting my subscriptions expire.
I hear ya. I let my subscription to Domino lapse for that very reason. Really, I only subscribed in the first place for the adorable bag that came with (Glamour mag is tempting me with a very fetching messenger bag right now).
Once upon a time, didn't Lucky have a wide variety of stuff for every price range? I miss those days.
This is why my two new favorite magazines are Cottage Living and Budget Travel. :)
The only reason *I* have Domino right now is because it came as a free gift with an amazon.com purchase. Mom's Dyson. I also find the bags in Lucky to be heinous, though that does seem to be the style nowadays in $1,000+ bags. Actually most of the stuff I like in it is makeup and jewelry. My reaction to a lot of the clothes is, "Really, that looks GOOD to you people?" I don't get it! I'll enjoy my bridal magazines for the next year then search for "Paupers Monthly" or something. ;D
At least Lucky doesn't have dieting tips.
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