Always a bridesmaid...

Superstitions -- or traditions that carry the weight of superstition -- are funny things. (You might think that I'm required to think that because I'm a folklorist, but the truth is, it's the other way around).

The one that's currently on my mind is the saying, "Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride." (This gets confused in my head with "Three times a lady," but I digress). Somewhere along the line, this devolved into "Always a bridesmaid..." often followed by a rueful smile and shake of the head.

The first place I remember this saying was in an L. M. Montgomery book, which I've recently reread (hence the current musing). Anne is talking to her friend Diana right before Diana descends the stairs to marry. Diana is lamenting that she won't be able to be Anne's bridesmaid (apparently "matron of honor" or brides-matron wasn't a thing, which would leave me bereft of any wedding party of my own, were it still true). Anne says, "I'm to be Phil's bridesmaid next June, when she marries Mr. Blake, and then I must stop, for you know the saying, 'three times a bridesmaid, never a bride.'"

I spent years going to weddings, but not being in them. Lots and LOTS of weddings. Some years it seemed like there was a wedding every weekend as soon as it stopped snowing. My friend John was in...was it 19 or 22?.. weddings in a single year (he sings beautifully, he's a connecty extrovert, and he's willing to MC things when necessary, so he's a popular guy). Hmmm...why is there no "three times a groomsman" saying?

Meanwhile, I had yet to be in any--not that it helped my own chances of being the star of the show.

Then my friend Debbie got remarried and--to my shock and joy --asked me to be the maid of honor. I happily accepted.

My best-friend-since-high-school Amy got married next. She followed through with the plan we made as teenagers, and I was, once again, the maid of honor.

Last summer, my soul sister Jody whirlwind romanced to the altar, and I was lacing up my maid of honor shoes once more.

Here I am, not just three times a bridesmaid, but the ultimate, concentrated bridesmaid! Surely that heightens the likelihood that I'll never be married myself. My life seems to bear this out.

I could be broken up about this. Worried that I'm going to die alone. Found partially eaten by cats that, at this point, aren't even mine.

Here's the thing: even were I a superstitious person, I wouldn't trade a single one of those turns as maid of honor even if it guaranteed I'd get married. They're representations of friendships deeper than I can describe in words; it's dear to me that I am thought enough of by these incredible women to be given that honor.

And not just because I'm the only single one left. :)

Next up: "A rolling stone gathers no moss." How sad would that be? Moss is lovely--stop rolling at once!