Revelation, epiphany, sigh of relief...

To begin, a clipping of an email I sent my cousin last year about folklore and why I want to get my master's in it (the whole email was off the top of my head, not something I'd put any thought into at that point):

"Strangely, seeing that degree possibility when idly searching universities in Scotland (just to see what was possible in another life, you understand) was like a giant hyperbolic lightbulb going off in my head. It was for THIS I have been searching!!! No wonder I could never settle into a grad degree in literature! I really, really wanted to go on to grad school, and yes, fear was part of the reason I was holding back, severe lack of money another. But the biggest reason is, say I tackle the fear, and somehow scrape up the money. When it's over, what do I do? I don't want to teach; I'm just not constitutionally cut out for it, I fear. Learn, yes; share and discuss, yes; teach, especially snot-nosed freshman who couldn't care less how to structure a paper? Nope. Twenty to two hundred people staring at me, judging me, laughing at me? Er, no. So where does a higher lit degree get me? Why, pretty much the places I've been and am. And...that's not enough.

But folklore! Not only does it satisfy my craving for story, language, history, theater, psychology, science, and all of that, not only is it fascinating to see the interplay between legend and culture and how those cultures have developed differently, even when, as in the Celtic cultures, the original stories were very similar, it has potential for future employment! I could be a curator, a lecturer, a writer/rewriter of fairy tales with a better basis and broader pool, an editor at a children's publishing company (with my experience in publishing combined with knowledge of stories that stick), a tour guide, a consultant for towns wanting to set up festivals, an anthropologist studying various cultures to learn their stories and histories and find out how the westernization of the entire world has begun to lose us unique and formerly thriving cultures (i.e. Laplanders--how cool would that be? Also Scottish travellers--I could finally LIVE with the gypsies I am so often accused of being! Wait a minute--I just noticed that I seem to be attracted to the nomadic peoples. Huh.), a museum curator, a writer for the Scottish traveler newsletter, or heck, an overqualified assistant something or other in a field nowhere close to my own. It's the perfect field for a generalist of my ilk. I could switch cultures every few years or so, or even oftener. I could spend a year following the humpback whales and learning from the native peoples who have based much of their culture on following them! I could FINALLY have a reason for studying humpbacks!! And write a book about what it is about these amazing creatures that not only inspired ancient cultures, but continues to find a sounding in the modern mind who can't help but slow down in awe and imagine."

Okay, so now that that immense thing is out of the way, a story. I don't know about you but I don't generally cry at non-fiction books, especially of the "self-help" variety. I might be all, "Oh, HEY! There's a scientific reason I'm an introvert! Sweet!" but I'm not a crier--at least in that. Rarely have things of that nature even come anywhere close to "changing my life." So you'll understand my confusion when I started sniffling last night while reading a self-help book.

The book is Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher. I'm barely into the introduction and I'm already nodding my head emphatically. "Yes! Oh, I so do that! Yes, that's me! Why, I LOVE da Vinci and have always felt a special kinship to him because he just threw himself into everything!" And then I get to this line: "Our culture's pressure to train specialists simply isn't balanced out by any plan to train generalists."

At least four of you, if you're reading this, are going, "Hey! Haven't you said almost that exact sentence enough times that it's gotten annoying?" Yes. Yes, I have. It's a source of major frustration for me (and my sister--and probably my mother). Examples can be found in this very blog. My inability to pin favorites down. My constant stream of ideas. The entire MIT post, especially the last paragraph. And the email above.

There's nothing wrong with me! I'm a scanner! I start to well up and literally pump my fist in the air in triumph. Like the dork that I am. I have yet to discover which kind I am and she assures me there's a way to make a living and still be this Renaissance person. I'm looking forward to it.